This parenting gig is not for the faint of heart

[heathrowga]

This week, I'd scheduled the kids for two different activities. Amelia is in a morning camp where she gets to be with 4 and 5 year old kids doing lots of running around outside, nature walks, frolicking in the playground, outdoor crafts, etc.. She loves to be outside, so it was a total slamdunk. Katie and I are signed up for a 45 minute Abrakadoodle art class. This was the first art class for Katie and she took to it like a duck in water.

All of the sudden, Amelia started balking about going to camp and started having potty accidents at camp. The counselors let me know that if Amelia had another accident, they'd call me and I'd have to pick her up. We talked to her about it, and she let me know she didn't like camp. Apparently, she thinks that Katie and I are having oodles of fun while she's at camp for 3.5 hours.  This morning, Amelia balked on going potty before camp time, so no camp for Amelia today (which means that Katie doesn't get to go to Abrakadoodle today since no non-enrolled siblings are allowed to attend the sessions). 

Amelia got all excited once camp time passed, saying that we could do all sorts of fun things today together, like going to the grocery store and getting cookies, playing on the computer together, etc..  Uh-uh! Today is going to be the most boring day ever at home.  It'll drive me nuts but I'm not going to reward bad behavior.

This stinks, but I'm not thrilled with her selfish behavior. I've tried talking with her about if something bad happened at camp. As far as I can tell, she just thinks that things are more fun when Katie and I hang out together without her. :(  We asked Amelia if she wanted this camp when we signed her up 2 months ago. Now it's being wasted.

Comments

[shlafe.livejournal.com]

Good luck. And don't cave!! :)

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

So you think I'm doing the right thing? I was posting this in kind of a fretful state of mind. Am I being too much of a hard ass? I know she's just four, and I'm not expecting her to be able to fully expand on what is going on in her mind.

[spicada.livejournal.com]

I know I don't have kids, but once upon a time, I had a lot of experience with them (teaching/daycare). I think you're doing the right thing.

Stick to your guns, gal.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

Thank you, darling. I appreciate the feedback. :D

[gardenwaltz.livejournal.com]

I have done the "most boring day" punishment before. It is incredibly effective.

[libragirl-77.livejournal.com]

Oh jeepers. How frustrating! It sounds like you're doing the right thing though :)

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Man, I'm so frustrated with her today.

[wedash.livejournal.com]

I'd bore her to tears because I agree with you about the selfish behavior.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

She's only 4, so I know she doesn't quite get it. However, she's going to!

[wedash.livejournal.com]

I know, but if you don't start early they never do get it. You are doing the right thing. It sucks when we have to punish ourselves to teach our kids something doesn't it?

[zathrus1.livejournal.com]

She's just lucky I'm not home. I'd tell her she can sit in her room all day, or at least for the hours that camp runs.

And I'm unhappy that I won't get to see a new piece of Katie artwork over the mantle when I get home. Or have H describe the making of it to me.

If she doesn't want to go to camp tomorrow, then that's fine. I'll drag her to work with me so that H and Katie can at least go do art. That should really bore her.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

"And here's how you compile code. I'll let you write the feedback to the HKG airport."

[aphorisic.livejournal.com]

The thought process of a four-year-old is much different than ours. Sometimes. ;)

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

And it's cuter yet twerpier.

[ximinez]

Yeah, you're doing the right thing. She needs to realize that she can't be with you 24/7. School isn't that far off either, and they don't take too kindly to randomly missing days.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

She goes to preschool during the school year, and she loves it. I think something on flipped this week when she saw that Katie was doing something different and fun. The art projects we make during Abrakadoodle are pretty cool, so the sibling rivalry switch flipped on.

[fizzgig-bites.livejournal.com]

Very boring day...

That fixes a lot of things.

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight*

[knobody.livejournal.com]

ditto everyone. boring day won't hurt her and might get the message across (someday, maybe, eventually). it doesn't seem like she's old enough to get it, but she's damn old enough to figure out how to manipulate herself out of day camp.

of course, the flip side is that she sees k doing fun stuff with mommy, and while she may be jealous of the art class, she may be more jealous of the time alone with mommy that k is getting. not that she needs to be rewarded for her recent behaviour, but maybe you can bargain with her. "if you go to camp tomorrow with no potty accidents then on xday we can go wander the mall and act silly and stuff." (she says without having a frigging clue how to give her own bigger two one-on-one mommy time they desperately need.)

[mrs--smith.livejournal.com]

You did the right thing. Gabriel was reluctant to go to the last few days of his preschool camp last month so I kept him home one day and ran the most boring errands ever, requiring him to get in and out of the car like four or five times. Worked like a charm. :D If you think the art class is the issue, promise Amelia that if she goes to camp tomorrow with no accidents you and she will have a special one-on-one date this weekend. That's something Gabriel and I do regularly now and it's been really good for BOTH of us.

I feel you on the wasted camp money. Gabrie is home with a head cold today from his YMCA swim camp that was not cheap and only lasts 5 days. :/

[eloren.livejournal.com]

That sucks for all three of you! *hug*

I understand her wanting to do something just with Mommy too, but that's not the right way to go about trying to achieve it.

Poor Katie though, she was the innocent bystander here.

[travellight.livejournal.com]

Hire her a babysitter and go to art thing with Katie anyway?

It's a good thing kids are cute, isn't it?

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

Absolutely, or else I would have tracked down the local Romany.

[katfrog.livejournal.com]

Rachel did Abrakadoodle - and totally loved it! So I understand why Amelia suddenly felt envious of her previously-not-going-to-cool-art-classes-with-Mommy boring younger sister.

But I also think you need to put your foot down, and just endure the most boring day ever. Katie's allowed to have fun without Amelia, and if you cave now, you will hate yourself when kindergarten rolls around.