My little niche

This has been the weekend of gathering my wagons. I've had to slough off some commitments in order to keep myself and the family afloat. We are going out tonight to a dear friend's house to catch up and watch part of the Super Bowl. We'll be home way before the end, because at least one child in this house is going to have enough sleep damnit.

Katie's still having a rough go of it. Like most ear infections, it's much worse at night. Therefore, it's much worse for us at night. This weekend, Tom has very graciously given me the lion's share of the sleep, since I need to do the night shift during the work week.

As for my mom, I'm trying to get over my hurt that she didn't even call me when she left the hospital. However, I need to remember that this kind of mental decline is part of the cirrhosis death. It's hard when I am trying to reach out to her constantly to deal with a mush-mouthed and confused woman who has a hair trigger temper.

As far as I know, Mom is still not in the hospital. She promised various people she would go tonight, but I'll believe she's in the hospital when I have to talk to her via Tampa General's switchboard. The best excuse I heard so far is that she didn't want to go today because all of the routes to the hospital would be blocked by Gasparilla. I have a funny feeling that the police would let ambulances through the parade route, you know what I mean?

I spent the morning puttering around the house with Tom and the kids. When they were down for a nap, I went to the mall and bought myself a funeral dress. I figure that I am going to need one really soon now, so I might as well shop for it while I am on my own, versus grabbing the first thing in my size that's remotely appropriate, like I have to when the kids are with me. I got even more depressed looking at myself in the mirror at Macy's, because I just haven't gotten myself in eat better and exercise. I need to, but I'm just at my limit right now.

I did find a nice wrap dress 60% off at Macy's. I hate spending a ton of money for something I'll only wear once. While this could be a cocktail or dinner dress later on, I just don't see myself reusing it. I imbue things with significance, and it'll be colored by that forever more. For example, a sleep outfit that I purchased for Flipper prior to the miscarriage was never used for Amelia or Katie. I just couldn't.

I came home to save Tom from the children. We packed up the family and headed out to run errands. While we were at Petsmart, I ran into pigri and her husband. We had a very nice chat while Amelia attempted to steal a few kittens from the adoption agency. Ms. M looked wonderful, and I confessed that I have Wii envy.

For dinner, we had pizza and now I'm watching Tom play a bit of Lego Star Wars. I spoke on the phone with my aunt and my mom's best friend earlier this evening, and now I'm waiting for my head to stop pounding. I took something over an hour ago, and it's just intensified since then.